Diary…..”Dear Mother Divine”
“Today, as I pretend to write these words to You, ooh dear Mother Divine, I know I am not writing to something outside of me, but to That which is at the core of my being. I am writing to my True Self. It doesn’t require words to be or communicate with That, with Thee. You are Formless, beyond words. It is of tremendous help though to sometimes write to You as if You hear these words. It helps to learn to formulate words, to intimately allow the heart to speak, to remind myself of insights that can easily be washed over again by ignorance. So, I like to pretend sometimes that “I” am talking to the real “Me”. It bridges the non-existing gap between the non-self and the Self…”
This is what I mean when I personally speak of Divine Mother
May 27 2016: Unity plays as Diversity…
December 24 2015: Your Grand Non-dual Story…
October 10 2015: Perennial Garden of Existence…
September 25 2015: Formless Bhakti… BEING LOVE… FREEEEEEE…
July 31 2015: Guru Purnima 2015
July 8 2015: Altar of Love…
June 25 2015: Prayer to Mother…
Somewhere in 2011: Sparks of the Divine…
And some old poems…
● “(A)para Vidya within Sri”
● “You do, do, do, and do”
● “Nothing is Mine”
● “I see, I see, what you don’t see”
● “Invisible for the Eye”
| top |
Unity (Yoga) plays as Diversity…
Ooh Dear Formless Divine Mother,
Through an unbroken living Tradition of sages, You gifted us our self-portrait. A portrait that contains both the Self and the appearance of the mere self. It is a portrait that applies to each individual. We all function and operate in exactly the same way. We appear different because our bodies do not look the same, also the collection of memories, habit patterns, desires, wishes and wants stored on our “harddrive”, is different for each of us. Simultaneously, this portrait is also a picture of the whole of manifestation, the totality of Existence. So it is Your portrait as well ooh dear Formless Divine Mother. The appearance of duality is a play of Consciousness, Non-duality is the Essence of Existence.This portrait of Existence reveals our True Nature and offers us a path Home.
Yet, our true Nature lies hidden, veiled by ignorance. Thus, as we walk the appearing path and uncover forgotten aspects of ourselves, it is experienced as expansion. The conscious part increases and the unconscious part decreases.
First it may appear as if I am discovering my senses, my breath, my mind and even my Silence, my True Self. Ooh how silly… that ego can claim all this to be its possession.
Ego is a translation of ahamkara. Aham = i am, kara = maker, ahamkara = i-am maker . It is not the identities themself, but the ability to take them on.
Thus, from the ego point of view it might appear that the journey is like this… “I” am moving inward, discovering the center of “my” being.
Everything along the way you uncover is subject to change. So how can this be the True Self? Seeking to find that which does not change reveals that there must be something beyond body, breath and mind. The center of “your” Being is the source of all the other parts of “you”.
Wait a second…. If mind, breath and body emerge from this center, then this center came, so to speak, first, and all the others later. Realizing this, ego slowly dares to see that it is not self-existent. Ego is not the owner. It all flows from this center, including ego.
What will happen is a 180-degree shift. Suddenly it becomes clear; I, as ego, am not moving inward. Consciousness is moving outward as a “me”. All “I” did was retrace the outward moving flow of Consciousness. Consciousness plays as mind, with the appearance of an ego, as breath, as body, as senses… as an appearing me!
If you and I receded into the Source out of which we emerged do we dive into different Sources? No. We are not merely connected. We are coming from the same Source. We all come from the same Source. Can you “see” it…. Everything, all appearing forms come from That.
It is the appearance of ego, which is none other than Consciousness itself, that has the seeming ability to appear as if it can isolate itself from the whole.So out here they appear as different. Here; All is One. Yet All os Brahman (Oneness, Unity = Yoga). What an amazing magic show it is… isn’t it!
What about this… Over time, people in different places have retraced the outward moving flow of Consciousness back to the Source out of which they emerged. Out here they appeared as Buddha, Mohammed, Jesus, Swami Rama, Swami Vivekananda, Ramana Maharshi, Swami Yogananda, Anandamayi Ma and many, many others…. But they all knew by direct experience that All is One. They knew that Everything emerged from One Source. They served the local people in a way that worked for them. Thus they may appear to have shared different teachings, but only the vase was different… the flowers, the essence, were the same. They all taught Love…. They were all Prophets of Love. Because if you see that all is One, You Love all, and exclude none….
You are no different from them… You too can be a prophet of Love. With practice you can polish the ego to make it see where it gets its energy from. Then ego can become a representative of the Formless Consciousness by appearing as an individual while fully knowing it is All One, sharing selflessly, giving selflessly….
You can see Consciousness manifesting as and through everything around… All comes from That… and All is That…. It is all Consciousness and its play….
That why I personally call Formless Consciousness “Divine Mother” because Formless Consciousness appears as a lap of Love in which all forms can play in freedom…
(Watch animation on YouTube)
| top |
Your Grand Non-dual Story…
Oooh Dear Divine Mother,
As the longing to know You grows, You gently reveal Your true nature to those who contemplate on You. You allow us to slowly expand our understanding so that we can peep into Your playground from behind Your appearing scenery, from backstage. In the three levels of Consciousness You are performing an eternal show that entertains the senses, without You ever doing anything. Your constant flux of the non-existing elements, the uninterrupted flow of apparent movement, is dancing in formless shapes. From the layer of infinite wisdom, Prajna, thoughts keep bubbling up into Your theater called mind, morphing into words and actions, telling endless stories. To give us—as appearing individuals—the opportunity to either unconsciously or consciously perform a role in the spectacle of experiences. Ooh dear Divine Mother, Your playwriting is inexhaustible, as from Your Formlessness endless stories can be told…
As this individual is trying to wake up to its true nature, to You, ooh Divine Mother, it slowly is able to admit its role in this Divine Play. Mostly, it still believes its story is real. Its past is its identity. Its desires are the apparent future. Looking around it perceives the fellow performers as separate. Some people are a part of its story, some seem to be able to move on the stage of life unseen, unnoticed, never being a part of “my” storyline.
Ooh… everything always seemed so real. Real meaning being unconsciously engaged in a world ‘out there’. In which this little island called “me” floats around experiencing the incoming sensory experiences as coming from a separate world. I versus the world. The objects I picked up felt not-me. As they seemed something solid, firm, something existing on themselves. The sounds I heard felt like different from me. As there is the sensation that they entered into me from outside. The colors I saw looked like separate from me. As my eyes seemed to constantly take pictures from a world out there. Constantly, it seemed that by experiencing the world through the senses it enhanced the feeling of separation. But there is no separation… It is the grand illusion of duality performed on the stage of Non-duality.
Because, ooh Mother… As I keep asking myself “Who I am?”, from the inside it whispers to look deeper within. Asking inwardly “What is real?”, a realization slowly reveals itself that only something that cannot change is real. If it comes, flows, and goes, how can we depend on it as real? Some moment in time it will be gone and then it will not be part of what is, thus it cannot be Real-ity. If something appears and then for sure will one day vanish we can ask ourselves “From where did it come and in what will it disappear?” This grand performance of constant change has to appear in a theater that doesn’t change. Since all forms are always subject to change, its stage can only be Formlessness.
So, all I am—as a form—is a story in Your grand performance, ooh Mother Divine! And all along I thought I was REAL! But, if this little me has come, stays for a while, but has to leave this stage called life, I—as a form—am definitely not real. Although this little me wants to forget this. Yet death is non-negotiable…
When anyone would ask me who I am, I would be able to tell you my story. This is where I grew up. This are the adventures I have been through. These are the people that I loved. These are the people I dislike, hated. This is the society that gave me the “normal”. All these details are nicely stored in the memory, all part of the storyline called “me”. I am my story. The story as it unfolds over the appearance of time shapes the me in a constant changing shape moving through the world. Its next move depends on what the mind has stored, because it is the desires that motivates the thoughts, actions and speech. Ooh fellow actors, can you see your story? A whole inner photo album full of details that make up a “you”.
Are these desires, these memories, these stories really me? This collection of desires and memories appears as a me. But is this the real me? Its story creates the actor on the stage. This me thinks it is this story. It thinks it owns the story, as these are “my” memories. But are these memories mine? Do I own them? Are they my possession? If these memories—all added up—make up the “me”, then how can this me turn around and claim that it owns them. This is the effect claiming to own the cause! On top of that new sensory experiences are adding to “my” photo-album. It seems an un-ending cycle; the memories form a “me”, and there is something in the mind that can label things as me, it thinks it owns the memories, creates more memories, stores more memories, constantly building and shaping this “me”. From where has this cycle emerged? There must be something that appears to be prior to the stories.
Ooh… slowly this story called “me” is able to see that it is not self-existing. Its story constantly changes and change is not real. Thus, it cannot be self-existent. It is leaning on something else. There is something bigger going on. This me is emerging out of, made from, or molded out of something bigger than being an individual, separated, on its own, all alone, drifting in an ocean of multiplicity.
As long as there are desires, the story continues. The world remains its stage on which this story can unfold. As long as the story unfolds there is a lead role called a “me”. Ooh fellow actors, look at your own past, look at the collection of desires. From it you can see the story of the future. You can see the ongoing story unfolding and your character being shaped. If this cycle is not broken somehow the story will continue forever. Desires will be fulfilled, but new memories will be added, new desires will be added, and this me endlessly will appear on the stage to fulfill more desires.
Slowly another story can unfold in the life of a human being. In the script for today time can be set aside for meditation and contemplation. So that the nature of the story, the props, the leading-role, the stage and its theater can be discovered. Through practice the ground out of which all stories emerge can be discovered.
Gradually the apparent me is able to release its doer-ship, its owner-ship. I—as who I thought I was; a self-existing being—is not the doer of the movements this “I” seems to make. I, as a character on the stage am the effect of the pool of desires playing out. I am not the owner; the constant playing out of desires is just the nature of existence. Whatever is hidden in the unconscious will play itself out. It is its Dharma.
It is not a hopeless story though in which nothing can be done. Something can be done. See that “you” as a form are an expression of these desires. Be aware that these are not the real you. Then whatever does happen doesn’t have to be taken on as me. We can stop identifying ourselves with the story. We can stop identifying ourselves with the particular story that comes out of the pool of desires. But we can even go a step further. We can stop identifying ourselves with the fact that we ARE a story. No matter which story it is. No matter what details it contains. We can step out of the cycle of the story. Which is subtler then just stopping to identify with a particular story. It is allowing our awareness to step away from the story-making process. This can be done while the remaining story is allowed to be played out. Then, there comes a distance between the True Self and the story that seems to unfold in front of the Self. Ceasing to identify with the story-process allows surrendering to spontaneously happen. The identification with the story-making process naturally starts to fall away. Increasingly awareness is conscious of the One who appears to give life to the desires. Which is the Formless ground in which this theater show seems to occur. That is what real-ly is. That is what we real-ly are. We are Formless existence that takes on the stories. We are That which plays through these pools of desires to emerge as a grand auspicious spectacle of multiplicity. “That”, in a way, is both the doer and the non-doer, yet at the same time neither of them. Non-doer because it as Formlessness will never be the form it appears to be. And appearing as the doer as it seems to be the Formless cause that provides the stage for the form to sparkle on.
Therefore, gradually the totality of the story called me can be renounced. The story as it keeps unfolding can be enjoyed from the perspective that can be playfully called “the true audience”, namely the Witnesser. This, ooh Mother Divine, is You! I am really You. Isn’t it amazing. The little-me as a story can become aware of You, which is Me, and then we can really play! I am not the words, the script, the story, but can fully enjoy the story as it is performed in front of Me.
Ooh, fellow actors, can you see how you really can become your own script-writer? But is it really yours? Being in the middle of the story, engaged in the story that appears real for you doesn’t seem to give you this opportunity, as the story leads you, the desires lead you. But as you surrender this little me to Me. As the ownership is renounced. The story can be witnessed from the point from where the words emerge as a script.
Ooh, fellow actors, can you see that “your” life is playing out as a story told by the desires and memories? That there is a whole reservoir waiting to be expressed? This reservoir is partly unconscious and thus we don’t know our own script. Pages are missing, the beginning and ending unknown. But by becoming aware of the desires, we can strengthen and play out the useful ones that support our expedition into and through the unknown desire world. When the desire world is understood, not merely in its details, but more importantly in its process, its process can be let go of. Purifying one desire after another is an endless process that will keep us engaged in the process of cause and effect. It is needed, but it will not release us from the story and thus come to know You, ooh Divine Mother. Because, even the desire to be free plays the same way all other desires play, it keeps us in the loop. It does help to create a useful habit pattern. We can create a new role in our life’s story that gradually becomes aware that none of the false identities are who we are. But, even the “yogi role” is not who we really are. Even the desire to be free needs to be renounced. Then, we can live from the Witnesser stance, which is not a role, but our True Self.
It is quite amazing, to see how a “me” can build a whole story around itself. From this witnessing stance, you not only start seeing your own story and the world it created, but also start to see the rest of the manifestation and its grand story. Gradually from this witnessing stance you start to see all people around you as stories. Every person you encounter can be lovingly looked upon as another story in the lap of Divine Mother…
With this expanding perspective all of manifestation becomes one saga of eternal diversity appearing within Non-duality. Then you see, it is all You. No separation. One big story. You can see how each appearing individual aspect of this grand story is beautiful on its own. You can enjoy the performance, while accepting the fact that most are living this story in ignorance, believing that their story is real. They think they are a “me”. In awe it can be observed how an individual is able to constellate a whole world around itself, around its story. It lives in this bubble being able to play out its story. How amazing it is that this earth is the ground for innumerable bubbles, stories all playing out in the same space!
As long as someone thinks it is a real, it is experienced as real. Thus, compassion to the stories will naturally arise, though will not make you fall asleep into their dramas. Lovingly you live among the many stories, selflessly giving where the story allows it.
We all know that one day our story seems to end, that the book will temporary close, when this body drops. Only when we wake up to the Witnesser of the stories will we be able to truly live “happily ever NOW!”
Ooh dear seeker,
Let Me share you My perspective. Within My Formless lap I hold infinite possibilities of unlimited forms. Like a grand puppeteer I can tell endless stories of becoming, growing, being and going. The stories have one common theme; eventually everyone is led Home. Led to be aware of the true nature of existence. Lifetime after lifetime, in its own momentum, the desire pool is allowed to wake up. I become aware of Myself as Formlessness in a form. What more amazing can there be within this Leela, this play? I emerge as the seeker and as the teacher who selflessly guides the student lifetime after lifetime to Myself. The stream of guru, that dispels the darkness is Me. It can be transmitted from one form to another, because nothing is really separate, it is all Me! So, dear seeker, see Me in all. I smile at you through every smile. I play with you in all your stories. I hold you throughout all your adventure. I am your Mother… and you are an incredible story… the grandest story of all; You are Me!
| top |
Perennial Garden of Existence…
Dear Divine Mother,
The more I witness you spectacle of Divine play, the more I am in awe with the appearance of the phenomena of separateness… The grand illusion veiling Your non-dual dance of apparent duality… What a wonder it is…
Looking at the clouds I see You dancing in open space forming shapes that can never be grasped. These shapes are an effect of forces subtler than the clouds themselves as they depend on the play of wind, water and the sun. The clouds appear to be individual forms, separate entities, but would never become visible without these subtler forces. What if a cloud had the appearance of an ego, thinking it is separate from this play of subtler forces and it is creating its own shape?
As the autumn wind blows the leaves through space, they surrender their destiny to the play of the wind. We see they are moved by forces different from them. They would lay lifeless without the wind. All these leaves are blown by the same wind. What if a leaf would have an ego, thinking it is separate from this dance and it is moving itself around?
All flowers, plants, and trees receive their nourishment from one ground. They are fed by one sun. They are sprinkled by the same clouds. As one display of nature they flourish all together in a constant dance of change, giving and sacrificing to maintain the unspoken balance of life. What if a flower started to claim its own self-existence that it is blooming using its own force?
Dear Mother, what if we sharpened our perception and we could see in one glance the forces that shape the water into clouds. What if we stood still for a moment to witness the one wind that moves all the leaves around. What if we could see in one glance the energy of the earth that feeds and holds all its flowers, plants and trees. We would see that their growth, being, destiny, and dissolving are governed by the inseparable coexistence of subtler life-forces playing together as one force of nature. We could almost see the invisible one energy that puts everything into motion.
If we can see this one energy that puts everything into motion as Your breath blowing as the wind, ooh dear Divine Mother, as Your lap holding and growing all the seeds, can we then imagine something similar happening on an even subtler level? This is mere the apparent energy of nature, what about the apparent energy of the totality of existence?
Your subtlest force called Adi Prana (adi= first prana = unit; first unit ) moves from Your innermost Silence both as a wind that starts the motion of Your manifestation as also the ground in which all Your ‘seeds of potential’ (vasanas and samskaras) lie resting. Adi Prana is the life force that energizes the seeds to merge outward as the apparent play of duality, from the subtlest to the grossest, both microcosm and macrocosm.
Your Adi Prana moves through these ‘seeds of potential’ making them bloom into thoughts in the mind-field to give birth to all imaginable moments and forms as a waking dream.
Like a seed grows, lives and dies as a flower in the garden so every samskara grows, lives and dies as a thought in the mind-field. A bundle of flowers becomes a bouquet… A bundle of samskaras is a jiva, blooming on this earth as a flower we call human being. A garden of flowers becomes a family, a society, a nation. We are all the effect of an amazing composition of samskaras giving a temporary form by Your breath of life, ooh dear Mother…..What a wonder it is!
It is almost unbelievable that somewhere in the middle of this somehow something starts to own the flower called human being! Veiling itself from Your perennial garden of existence. Somehow even this is part of Your dance as then the joy of awakening seems to happen. Slowly the flower releases itself from the imagined bondage of separateness by looking around wondering “Who am I?” and “What is this?” It starts to see the rest of garden and its transient nature of the forms in the garden.
Then maybe the flower starts to experience the one energy that not only enlivens itself, but start to see that this one energy puts everything into motion. It starts to intuit the macro cosmic field of samskaras, through which only one flow of prana flows to enliven the seeds. This one field of samskaras merges outward as different forms, but are all one garden of existence. The flower called human being is a living shrine that can spreads the fragrance of this Divine life force throught selfless giving, non-harming and non-attachment into the garden of existence.
Waking up in Your perennial garden, dear Mother Divine, blooming like one of Your flowers, forming bouquets with other flowers—something we call relationships—witnessing births and deaths as one perennial dance is the most indescribable, overwhelming, magnificent delight. Waking up means removing the idea that I am a separate flower… It is all You… You are me… I am You… I am the ground, the seeds, the flowers, the bouquets, the energy the gives life to it all and the Formless from which this all seems to manifest. Yet with this realization the flowers can bloom as long as they receive energy from the source to fully enjoy the garden of existence… So that’s why I am ever increasingly in awe with the appearance of separateness as I feel You, ooh dear Formless Mother move through “me” to give life to the notion called “me”… And in this awe doer-ship, ownership and separateness fall away….BEING is what is left…
Do you want to find the source of the wind that enlivens you from the Center of Consciousness? Do you know how to catch the wind and follow it to its source? One of the ways to catch the wind is listening into the inner space for the sounds of the mantra… Mantra as its syllables is a very gross aspect of this wind, thus can be discovered and followed inward. Tuning your attention to this stream of words will lead you it its feeling, to then lead you to its awareness to eventually guide you Home, to the formless Garden of Tripurasundari from which she dances Her spectacle of form. Along the way you can feel how the mantra gives life to “you” and then it become gradually evermore impossible to own the wind, the seeds, the motion, the form….
| top |
Formless Bhakti… BEING LOVE… FREEEEEEE…
Sometimes you feel anger or frustration but just doesn’t seem to be able to understand the reason…. as if all details have fallen away… raw undefined anger/frustration is present without there being an object, a person or a situation to direct it to, to discharge it to or to blame it on… It feels like the collection of old emotions of thousands and thousands of moments of this emotion stored in the same file folder, in which details have fallen away, is coming forward. Mind likes to find a reason, but uselessly dumping it on others is not useful… even harmful. What we are left with is to learn to be undisturbed, unaffected and uninvolved even when these waves of pure emotion come up. It is a sign of progress as it shows us that we are diving deeper into the storehouse of mind. Thus, no need to worry when it happens!
It also shows us the potency of raw emotion without an object. The shakti, the power, these emotions have can be tremendous. It is quit the experience to get in touch with this… As this power is not “bad”. It is the coloring of the power that is not useful; the anger and frustration are the result of unfulfilled desires. Which are the effects of the colorings of “me” and “mine” that ahamkara added to the sensory experiences of this Divine play.
Can you remember a moment in which this was felt. Yes? It means you have some direct experience! Namely, of the power of emotion standing alone without a specific object, situation or person. What if we could direct this power? What is we could “ride” this power to a useful destination? Do you remember the focus you had in being in this emotional state?… I remember that it can take over the whole mind-field, nothing else exists but this emotion… Sometimes even as a samadhi-like experience… Meaning, so easy to get lost and absorbed into it.
What if we can stay alert and conscious as these waves move through the mind-field? What if we could consciously evoke this power of emotion, but then in relation to love? I know Love is actually not an emotion. It is beyond all emotions. But can you remember a time when the love for something was experienced so deeply? For a person, such as a lover, a child or parent? Or for an object? Like your favorite teddy bear? I remember moments like this, it was love based on attachment, but ooh, what a strong feeling it was.
What if you were able to evoke this feeling of Love consciously in relation to this person or object? And what if you were then able to drop the object? Then you would also experience the power of this feeling standing on it own just like with the emotion as anger or frustration. Not needing a person, an object or situation. Can this not be done all the time? I mean… if this can be done once, it can be done constantly as this evoking doesn’t need an object, doesn’t need a person, doesn’t need a specific situation. These objects of love do not have to be present. We don’t have to created the perfect circumstance outside ourselves to evoke this feeling of love. It can be evoked all the time, in every here and now.
What if we then could aim this feeling? What if we could aim this power? What if we could direct it to the understanding, to the longing, to the awe that this Love without an object is our True Self, the origin of all emotions, all phenomena, and all movement. That this source, True Love itself, is at the core of our being and not a mere feeling that is created in the mind when ego gets its way when a desire is fulfilled.
Even if this doesn’t yet bring the cessation of all phenomena. Even if it doesn’t not yet bring Self-realization. It will direct us in the right direction and allows us to be drenched in formless Love to be best of our ability. It allows us to be in Love as much as mind is to be able hold it. Which eventually it cannot and will lovingly surrender itself in total understanding that all there is, is LOVE…. BEING LOVE…
This is formless bhakti… using the power of emotion to direct it to the formless… to pure being… to pure Love. This is the bhakti I have been longing for my whole life and gradually are able to evermore dwell in it, to swim in it, to loose “my”self in it….
Ooh Mother Divine, take this ego, hold it, embrace it and keep whispering to it that it is not me… I am You. It, ego, is an amazing instrument. Let it represent You, let it be Your instrument, so it can radiate Your Eternal Infinite Love and show the world of form that You, Formless Mother, are the lap of Love in which all forms ripple like waves of bliss and beauty.
I know that this feeling of awe can be experienced while doing karma… renouncing all the fruits and doer-ship of the actions… It is all You. Thus, karma yoga is not excluded. I know buddhi has been the wisdom through which viveka is increased to discriminate You, Divine Formless Mother, from the not-self. Thus, jnana yoga cannot be excluded. I know that without meditation the levels of Leela cannot be fathomed to be able to knock on the door of formlessness. Thus, raja yoga cannot be excluded. I know that all this play of energy is Your kundalini shakti. Thus, kundalini yoga cannot be excluded. Whichever name we give Your path, in which order we walk it, or how they all complement each other, I know that all paths will eventually lead to You.
This is when the heart sings as I hear the sages, like Swami Rama, tell us about the Samaya path. Another name for the formless and nameless path were “I am with you” is always remember, embraced, lived. Meaning You, Divine Mother, as formless is remembered in all that is, experienced in all that is, admired in all that is. Both in form and formless as there is only One. You are in me… this body is a shrine. The evolutes of Shakti are fathomed to dive deep into the waves of bliss to find that Shiva and Shakti are one and the same. As to ever more live, breathe, give, love in the constant awareness that You are indeed always with me. As I am You… You are me… nothing belong to me… Your beauty is here to be fully enjoyed, to be fully embraced and shared… Ooh what a wonder it is. It is all unreal in the sense that everything will always be changing. This “I” as little self will one day be gone, but the pervasive awareness that witnesses the little self will never die. When the conscious transition can be made fully between moments, between breaths, between bodies… it will be all seen as an ever-flowing, ever-changing spectacle of Divine play…. You formless Mother breathe the life-force, prana, into all Your shapes that are always one with You. You smile through all beings. Without being separate You serve yourself, You sacrifice to yourself, You love yourself. Love, life and relationships are Your wonder to play in duality while remembering the formlessness of Infinite Eternal Love… This is being FREEEEEEEEE….
So there is nothing “wrong” with experiencing the fullness of life through emotions, objects, situations, relationships… Let them be the inspiration that guide you into the depth of Shakti… to the formless place where Tripura is dancing in the the three cities, as the three cities, which are all One.
| top |
Guru Purnima 2015…
Q: Dear formless Mother Divine,
How to describe the indescribable?
How to grasp and hold the Love that cannot be perceived by the mind since its size is immeasurable formless and beyond the realm of the mind? How to express this Love within the field of mind, within the nonexistent manifestation, if mind cannot hold it as it is?
The mind is only able to transmit a little reflection of this Love into the waking state, and yet even this little expression is so amazing, so spectacular, so sweet, so embracing, so nourishing, so stilling, please guide me in finding a way to express it and hold it.
A: All there is, is to surrender into this immeasurable formless Love, and you will no longer need words, nor questions, nor answers, you need not to hold on to anything, because there will be just LOVE. All your efforts aimed in this direction will increase the awareness and nature of this Love and therefore will expand the stream that flows from the formless source, through the heart, through the mind, into the manifestation, and words will surface. You will have to understand they are mere attempts and impossible to hold that which cannot be hold, to express that that cannot be expressed, but yet can be enjoyed and pointers towards formless Love.
Q: Dear formless Mother Divine,
How to hold the formless stream called guru that guides us non-existing individuals back to You? How to attempt to understand the magnitude of this guidance that is one and the same with You? It is not a person, but yet this stream can operate through a person, its like Love, it is able to find its way into form within the manifestation, remaining formless yet assuming a form. How to hold the formless guru within a person?
A: See Me in all, experience that all there is, is Me. I am dancing within the three worlds without being on a journey. I and the stream of Guru are one and the same. Guru being another form of maya is there to guide those living in avidya to come Home. Know it flows directly out of Me, so it is nothing but Me. As I am ALL, so all objects contain the stream of Guru. Yet some forms have done so much effort. They offered all they are into the stream of Guru, so they became a instrument for the stream of Guru, a vessel, a door, so the stream of Guru can flow into this manifestation as a human being, able to use all the qualities a human being has. If you don’t confuse yourself that this person is guru, by reminding yourself that Guru is formless, you can hold with reference all the efforts this person have done to become this vessel. You can see how they selflessly and lovingly guide you to find the guru within, therefore you will be able to hold the formless Guru within a person.
Q: Dear formless Mother Divine,
Actually formless Mother, these question are leading towards my main question for today; how to express the love felt for the stream of Guru? How to express the Love that tries to find its way to the waking state that I have for the person that did immeasurable effort to become a pure vessel, to become a selfless assistant that lovingly guides everyone on the path to find the guru within, to find the formless Love? How to express the Love that knows that she and him are one and the same, yet within the appearance of duality she has the wish to express it to him? How to express that this Love it not merely love based on attachment, but that it was this Love that was the first introduction to the immeasurable Love of You, oh Divine Mother, as he opened the door towards your Love? How can I tell him I love him, knowing there is no me, nor him, but yet there is so much Love for him as a jiva, him as a form within leela? How to express the gratitude to the stream of Guru, that has guide me all this life? That Guru brought me to him, and You took a form that I can love? Ooh, please Mother I need some help…Words don‘t seems to exist for express this.
A: All you need to give are these questions, he will understand…Om namah Shivaya ♥
| top |
Altar of Love…
Entering the shrine of the Lord of Love, after stilling its space, after stilling its sound… the altar of Silence appeared in the heart of BEing. She asked; “Which Truth do you allow to reside here? Which wordless knowing reverberates through your whole being from this altar?”
I responded: Let it be Love… so pure, so perfect. It’s power, Your power is the source out of which Your ripples started to spark into a divine picture of Love to express Your profound ability to shape the ever-formless while never leaving Your unconditional Love. In the heart of hearts, in the depth of formless Love, Truth, Your Truth sings a soundless song whispering that Shiva and Shakti are one….
The formless and the auspicious ability to reflect form on it are one Love… ever united, never separate, in an eternal embrace of Existence, Consciousness and Bliss…. ♥
| top |
Prayer to Mother…
(June 25 2015) Ooh, how amazing it is to enjoy Your Love… oooh Divine Mother. But I have to share the admiration I have for all of us who walk this path of fire and light toward formless Love. As simple as Your Truth is, the appearing walk to it seems difficult, long and sometimes unbearable. All those identities being chopped away one by one…. Who has the strength, the guts, the persistence to go all the way? Fortunately, I know some who are walking in your direction, ooh Divine Mother! How amazing is that! How some of us keep looking at our fears, attachment, jealousy, pride, manipulation skills, selfish behavior to get what we want, aversions, and false identities to declare “THESE ARE NOT WHO I AM!” And that in the middle of busy lives, relationships, kids and/or duties! I love to share Your Beauty, Ooh formless Divine Mother, but let us not forget that evermore residing in Your Formless unconditional Love does require sweat, burning and chopping, so lets not pretend this fire is not here and present a squishy path. Remove the avidya and walk brave on this path to Love! Love really is all there is, so beyond the fire truly is light…. So I pray for strength… to continue this journey ♥ Thank you all for sharing this path… lets sweat together! AHAM BRAHMASMI!
| top |
Sparks of the Divine
(footnotes are linked, so discover more about symbols used in the story)
Once upon a non-time, far far away in the nearest most subtlest place you cannot imagine, is a non-land — a non-space where the formless Divine Mother of the Universe is awake. The non-land of peace, happiness and bliss where everything is one without a second. Her eternal union shines from this non-place which we also know as the Center of Consciousness (1). Her unconditional lap of fearlessness is Pure Knowing and is the substratum from which the sparkly fire of Her Heart radiates nothing but Love. It is the non-place where there are no questions, no forms, no sounds; there is no movement, it is the home of Silence…
From this abode, from this sparkly fire, a spark shoots away from Divine Mother, appearing to be on a journey. Falling asleep, it flies through a dark land of potential (2), then falls into a dream where it is flying through a land of unlimited opportunities (3). Then falling even more asleep it lands softly on unfamiliar ground (4), known as earth…
During this sleep, without even noticing, Spark gained a mind, ten senses, and a body with the ability to breathe (5). Fortunate, because these instruments gave Spark the opportunity to explore everything that is contained in this worldly manifestation…
Like a newborn baby Spark was overloaded with new sensory input; never before did she have the opportunity to play with these instruments. So it took her a while to see where she had landed; it took her a while to hear the sounds flying through the air; unbelievable sensations entered her nose, the warm radiance of the sun came in contact with her skin and her body showed her how it was able to walk, to grasp, and to create sounds…
All these impressions hijacked her time, and for hours and hours she was intoxicated by the appearances that manifested around her; she forgot that she was dreaming, she never felt so alive. The beauty, the magnificence of this world, the indescribable sensations flowed into her mind, an ongoing stream that made her forget where she came from. After hours and hours her eyes couldn’t handle the light anymore, her nose gave up and closed its entrances, the hands lost their grip, feet stopped walking… Her body and mind needed rest. Almost not willing to surrender, the night fell over her, taking her senses back to their Source. She became still and after a while Silence entered…
Falling into a dream, she woke up in the dark land of potential, knowing she was very near to the unconditional lap of fearlessness of Mother Divine, and for a few hours she remembered home again; the land of peace, happiness, and bliss…
But as soon as the first light of the sun radiated from the horizon, Spark’s eyes opened, her mouth made a yawn, her body expressed itself fully by stretching out as far as it could. Confused by memories, she looked around. Perplexed by what just had happened, her mind started wondering. Baffled by the inability to hold the experience in the present moment, the thoughts ran around asking “where am I” and “where was I”. A memory came: it was very vague, but strong enough to keep her attention. She remembered HOME, but she couldn’t understand it. “Where is this place of Silence? Where can I go to find this place again? It must be here somewhere, because it cannot disappear. I must find the way”
She now had a quest (6), so she stood up and started to walk. After a day of searching in every corner underneath every stone, behind every tree, she surrendered again to the night. She had not found it. But just before she fell asleep, she remembered that last night brought her back in the direction of home, so she suddenly was filled with enthusiasm, “I am going home”. But, unfortunately her mind was so full of the impressions she collected during the day that the only thing she remembered when she woke up, were her dreams. Disappointment almost made her mind black as darkness, but out of the depth of this miserable feeling came a force… “There has to be a way to go home, I’ll find it, I have to find it, I am going to find it (7)”
At the same moment, when she was refreshed and filled with determination, a bee zoomed by. The bee noticed Spark’s confusion and disorientation and asked: “What’s on your mind?” Spark answered: “I want to go home, but I don’t know where to go. All these opportunities, all these impressions, all these choices of where to go, make me unable to move. Can you help me?” “Of course I can”, answered the bee. “Just follow me, I know a farmer who is very wise. He must know the way home.”
Full of faith, she followed the bee. Following the little bee, and therefore having a direction, made her feel calm and secure. She noticed that she was paying less attention to the world around her; home was more important. “Just focus, and be alert to where we are going.” She didn’t want to lose the bee from her sight (8)…
Down in the valley in front of a mountain, they found a place where a farmer was growing his crops. At least that is what it supposed it looked like. Trying not to judge the situation, Spark felt her faith decreasing. The place was everything but organized, the land was split up in so many different pieces she couldn’t count them, every little piece had a little wall around it made out of dirt, and there seemed to be no logic in what was growing on a particular field. Everything was mixed together, with no reason, no sense, and on top of that the crops really could use some water — there was hardly any life left in the plants…
In contrast to the chaos of the farm, the farmer was smiling and with a happily pace he walked towards them, saying: “Oh I’m so happy that you’ve come, would you be so kind to help me?” Surprised by the idea that she could be of service Spark replied “Of course”. The farmer guided them to a stream of water that came from the mountain. Here was a water wheel: it had four spokes and one of them was broken. The farmer told them that he was not able to fix the wheel; he was too old, he couldn’t see clearly, he needed someone who was able to judge the situation and could discriminate what needed to be done — he lacked the overview. “Can you see the problem and fix it?” She did, and in no time it was done…
“Thank you for helping me. I know you came with a reason, so please now that my mind is free from this worry tell me what that reason is.” Spark answered that indeed there was a reason they had come. She started to talk and explain her situation: she wanted to go home, she wanted to go back from where she came from, she knew she couldn’t find home here outside, because she had looked everywhere, and she couldn’t find it. She told him how she remembered going inside and being very close, but she also explained all about how she couldn’t get her mind to be quiet anymore, everything was so chaotic, the inner world also didn’t seem the way to go. ”Can you maybe help me?”
The farmer responded with his still, worry free mind. He said: “Being absorbed in the outside world a direction seems hard to find. Everything leads to misery although it appears for a moment to bring you happiness. If you start identifying with everything you experience (9), and label all the impressions with “mine” (10), “your” attractions and aversions will create fear (11). But remember fear is only possible when you forget that all is one; the duality removes you from the unconditional lap of fearlessness. This ignorance divides you from the whole, and loneliness arises. Therefore the outside world is not the way to go home. Closing your eyes and entering the jungle of thought patterns and waves of memories seems even more like an impassable road, but please don’t make the mistake of not going there, it is like an untraceable path inside that will lead you to home. I don’t know all the details of that inner road, but I can show you how to clear your mind a bit and tell you where to go. “Please do” responded Spark…
Pointing up the mountain to a beautiful transparent stream of water, the farmer continued: “On top of this mountain lives a Queen in a crystal palace. If you follow the stream, just before the Source there is a lake where Her palace is situated. There you will find the Queen. She is so wise that she knows all the answers and she will give you your answer without you having to speak: there all mysteries will be solved. Her Silence will bring you home”
“But before you go, let me show you what you just fixed for me, it will help you on your journey”. He brought Spark’s attention to the stream of water. The water wheel, now fixed, was scooping up water from the stream into a little handmade ditch. The farmer showed Spark what he could do with the water that was flowing in the little handmade ditch. With discrimination, he made openings in the dirt walls that surrounded the little pieces of field, merely by removing the dirt and while he was busy with this Spark observed how one by one the fields were getting water, how one by one the plants in the fields came to life. With full attention she was absorbed in this process. Fascinated, she witnessed the process until all the fields were attended to, how the water entered and fertilized all the fields…
Later, over a warm cup of tea, the farmer and Spark had a long conversation about how the wheel represented four different functions of the mind. He explained that if the wheel is fixed, if the spoke that represents the judging, knowing and discriminating part of the mind is fixed, and all four functions work together, it is an instrument to harmonize the mind-field (12). He explained how the mind-field appears to be split up in so many different parts, and that if the parts are not coordinated and balanced, there seems to be no logic to what the mind contains. However, when the four functions of mind work together and they allow bit by bit the stream of water which comes from the Source high on the mountain, to run through all the separated fields, the mind comes to life, meaning that then it is fertile and it can be of service to the world. As crops sacrifice themselves to be food for people, the mind sacrifices its thoughts by recognizing that only the Source keeps the mind alive. The mind, just like food, is nothing but an instrument. The mind-field is an effect of the Source; it is not the cause, and if it forgets its Fertilizer it will lose all its potential, just as the fields were almost dried up because they had no water…
When all the fields of the mind one by one get attention, the mere removal or letting go of ignorance of where it comes from allows the mind to be “alive” (13). The whole mind will express the beauty of the Source, it will know it IS because of the water that comes from the mountain, it will remember the Source, it will fully understand it is an instrument to bring you home as far as it can lead you. Just as food makes you healthy, coordinating the mind makes it possible to walk to the top of the mountain to experience the Source…
“Wow!” Spark saw that the mind could be transformed into an instrument instead of being an obstacle in this world. She saw the mind as a new friend. The only thing she couldn’t fully grasp was the understanding of the Source. “That’s OK” replied the farmer, when you get there you will come to understand. Just go and find out for yourself. ENJOY the path up the mountain…
Steady as she goes, step by step Spark followed the stream of beautiful transparent crystal-clear water up the mountain. Sometimes she fell, sometimes she ran, sometimes she waited to enjoy the view, sometimes she hid because of storms, sometimes she played with animals, sometimes she was tired and rested a bit, but always after a while she continued because her curiosity was bigger than whatever she was doing. Her desire was more important than any sensory experience she encountered on the way. She wanted to go home, nothing else could satisfy her…
And one day, sooner then she expected, she was standing in front of the crystal palace. The Queen invited her to come in, offering her hand with a smile that resonated through the whole valley. Spark wanted to explain why she had come and wanted to ask all the questions she had in her mind, but nothing was able to come out of her mouth. While walking hand in hand with the Queen she felt a stream of wisdom coming from inside: the mind who was still her friend transformed the stream into words. It was something like this: “Welcome my child, I’ve been waiting for you. I will show you the last steps to bring you home, all the effort you have made so far will be rewarded, just enjoy this last part of your journey. Let go of fear of the unknown, because you know exactly where you’re going, surrender to what I’m about to show you.”
They walked silently to the lake behind the crystal palace. The view was amazing, the sun made a magnificent display, sparks of light reflecting on the flat surface of the water. In the middle of the water was a tree, a tree whose roots were up in the sky and all its branches in the direction of the water. It looked like it was growing upside down in the sky, floating above the mirror of the water…
For a moment they just observed this unusual sight, for a moment they found themselves in Silence. After a while the mind started again transforming the stream of knowledge into words — it was again the Queen guiding her, with gentle loving words. “Make your mind like the surface of this lake, still and silent. As soon as a thought comes in your mind it will cause movement on the surface and the reflection will be disturbed, it will show a deformed appearance of the reality. The waves that thoughts create will appear as independent objects and will start to think that they are divided from the whole, multiplicity appears, and forgetting starts.”
“But if you practice and train the mind, to make it still, to see beyond the waves, the mind will again become calm (14). And when all the thought patterns are purified, meaning that they know they are one with the lake, that they are not waves, but water that flows from the Source, they lose their color and become clear again (15). And when the mind is serene and calm it can lead you to the highest Truth, that there is something beyond the mind, that the mind is just like a mirror, it is reflecting the manifestation, it is a reflection of the Source (16).”
“The mind becomes like this tree (17): it knows it has its roots up in the sky, not in the ground. It started to grow from the sky. The branches, the leaves are but expressions of the seed that started to grow in the sky. The branches and the leaves are the fruits of the Source, growing in this reflection we know as earth. When the mind becomes like this crystal palace (18), it is able to hold any concept, any object in its true form, there is no more coloring projected on the objects of the world, but you will be able to see everything just as it is. All the objects are an expression of the Source, and you will see the Non-Dual reality in all the diversity.”
“This is the secret. This is the secret: the mind will be able to hold just enough to make it possible to guide you to Silence, from there you have to go beyond the mind, but that is beyond your human effort, the Source will take care of that. You wait, and wait, and practice, and practice, try to go further, but you can’t. You have to keep on longing, longing to go home, surrender all of your being…longing…longing…longing till the day comes the Source leads you home.”
A smile of understanding appeared on Spark’s calm face. Her heart was open, she was able to receive everything the Queen had told her. In processing it she was left with only one question, but before she could form it, the Queen continued: “I will explain more about the Source“. There is a point (19) on this mountain where the Source starts the flow. If you recede into it, it will guide you home. You came from this point, when you started your journey at the beginning of this story. You fell asleep and woke up in this dream. Your home is beyond this point, the stream is the beginning of your dream, it is the beginning of the manifestation, of the appearance of all the objects, as mind, body and world.”
“If you had not paid attention, if you had not made any efforts to remember home, you would have enjoyed the stream of water flowing from the Source, meaning you would have gone downstream and become more and more entangled in the world, more and more away from the Source. But you turned around with the remembrance of where you came from, you started your quest. You had to move against the stream, you had to move in a way that felt like going against the flow, but it was the only way to find the Source again. With determination, with guidance, with effort, with letting go of the worldly pleasures, with non-attachment, with opening up to the wisdom of the stream, you found your way to Me.”
“I’m the Queen (20), who knows the beginning and the flow of the stream. Being up here on the mountain I can look over the whole world, I can observe all the stages and levels of Consciousness flowing out of Me. It won’t affect Me, it won’t change Me, but I do know this world appears because of the stream of water that flows from My Source. With that knowledge see Me in All, remember Me in everything you do, enjoy everything with the awareness that the world is not yours, but that it is ‘alive’ because I am. You and I are one and the same. You don’t need to go anywhere, you can enjoy this and remember Me at the same time. If you remember Me in all there is, in all you do, you come to know you are not the doer, and you can help Me managing this appearance known as world, you can be off service to anyone who is looking for Me. Will you help Me? Then we can be a team. But also it gives you a way to stay here and ENJOY, you can play with everything around you. You don’t have to leave this place. All this time you were looking for a way out of here. But now you know you can stay here and be home everywhere you are.”
“And when you can hold all of this together, you’ll know the Source and it manifestations are the same. And when in the deep core of your being you understand this process, it will makes it easy to hold the opportunity to just sit in Silence. As the stream is the effect of the cause we know as the Source, there is a way to just for a moment, leave the effect behind and just sit with the cause. If you sit still, let go of the world, let go of the body, let go of the mind, and witness how all these parts remember the Source, the Source will absorb it all, and then I, Mother Divine, will rest in my own Self, in my Own True nature (21)…You will be home…AUM…AUM…AUM…”
And Spark did, with the Knowledge of how the outgoing flow of manifestation was one flow of consciousness appearing in many levels and stages. She understood that the way to the Source, was temporarily setting aside everything that flows from that Source. Knowing she did not have to leave it behind permanently, that if she came back fully surrounded by the manifestation, again she could use the instruments the Queen had given her…
She made her body still, left the world behind, made her breath calm to lead her to her mind (22), aimed all of the mind in the direction of the Source. Then the Queen guided her up the stream and for some non-time she was HOME again, HOME in the unconditional lap of fearlessness of Divine Mother…AUM…AUM…AUM…(23)
Footnotes of “Sparks of the Divine”:
(1) The question mark in the circle diagram, referring to Atman, Brahman, Shiva, the Absolute Reality, Turiya, Tripura or Silence of AUM from the Mundakya Upanishad.
(back to story)
(2) The deep sleep state, the causal plane, subconscious, Prajna, or the M of AUM from the Mandukya Upanishad. (back to story)
(3) The dreaming state, the subtle plane, unconscious, Taijasa, or the U of AUM for the Mandukya Upanishad. (back to story)
(4) The waking state, the gross level, conscious, Vaisvanara, or the A of AUM from the Mandukya Upanishad. (back to story)
(5) From Mandukya Upanishad, the 3rd verse: “The first aspect (of Atman) is the waking state, In this state, consciousness is turned to the external. With its seven instruments and nineteen channels, it experiences the gross phenomenal world.” The seven instruments are: space, air, fire, water, earth individuation and energy. The nineteen channels are: 4 functions of mind; Manas, Chitta, Ahamkara, Buddhi. 5 Karmendriyas (senses of action) of speaking, grasping, moving, procreation, elimination. 5 Jnanendriyas (cognitive senses) of hearing, touching, seeing, tasting, smelling. And 5 vayus: prana, apana, samana, udana, and vyana. (back to story)
(6) This is the turning moment in the story, prior to this point it was an outgoing wave (adhyasa), now it is reversing. Adhyasa is the force that make consciousness appear to move outward. As soon as it moves outward, Avidya seems to veil what is left behind with ignorance, with forgetting. On our inward journey we need to recede through both Adhyasa and Avidya to find again what is hidden underneath both; our True Self. (back to story)
(7) Sankalpa Shakti: “I will do it, I can do it, I have to do it, and I am going to do it!”
(back to story)
(8) Yoga Sutra 2.54*: when the mental organs of senses and actions (indriyas) cease to be engaged with the corresponding objects in their mental realm, and assimilate or turn back into the mind-field from which they arose, this is called pratyahara, and is the fifth step.
Commentary of Vyasa; “Just as the bees fly, as the queen flies; and sit as the queen sits; so the senses become restrained, as the mind is restrained. This is pratyahara. From Patanjali’s Yoga Sutras, Translated by Rama Prasada. (back to story)
(9) Yoga Sutra 1.4*: at other times, when one is not in Self-realization, the Seer appears to take on the form of the modifications of the mind field, taking on the identity of those thought patterns. (back to story)
(10) The habit of the ahamkara (one of the four functions of mind) that is not useful; coloring the thoughts as “mine”. (back to story)
(11) Yoga Sutra 2.3*: there are five kinds of coloring (kleshas): 1) forgetting, or ignorance about the true nature of things (avidya), 2) I-ness, individuality, or egoism (asmita), 3) attachment or addiction to mental impressions or objects (raga), 4) aversion to thought patterns or objects (dvesha), and 5) love of these as being life itself, as well as fear of their loss as being death (abhinivesha). (back to story)
(12) From the Upanishads: a wheel with four spokes representing four functions of mind: Manas, Chitta, Ahamkara and Buddhi. Buddhi is the “broken spoke” in this story, it represents the function that discriminates, judges, decides and knows. Mostly Buddhi is ignored, invisible, or clouded-over, because the desires in the Chitta overrule Manas, and because Ahamkara is thinking it is the Self, and therefore the four spokes don’t work together as an instrument for the Self. (back to story)
(13) Yoga Sutra 4.3*: Incidental causes or actions do not lead to the emergence of attainments or realization, but rather, come by the removal of obstacles, much like the way a farmer removes a barrier (sluice gate), so as to naturally allow the irrigation of his field. (back to story)
(14) Yoga Sutra 1.2*: Yogash Chitta Vritti Nirodah
Yoga is the control (nirodah, regulation, channeling, mastery, integration, coordination, stilling, quieting, setting aside) of the modifications (gross and subtle thought patterns) of the mind field. (back to story)
(15) Brahman is one without a second, just as the waves are not separated from the ocean. (back to story)
(16) Tripura Rahasya (a tantric text) uses the metaphor of a mirror, this manifestation is like an image on a mirror; Consciousness is the surface of the mirror. It stays undisturbed, unaffected, uninvolved with images (chapter 14 verse 54-55). (back to story)
(17) Bhagavad Gita chapter 15 “The Eternal Tree of Life” (back to story)
(18) Yoga Sutra 1.41*: When the modifications of mind have become weakened, the mind becomes like a transparent crystal, and thus can easily take on the qualities of whatever object observed, whether that object be the observer, the means of observing, or an object observed, in a process of engrossment called samapattih.(back to story)
(19) Bindu means point: The whole of manifestation seems to emerge out of a point, as all will collapse again into a point, though this point is not an object. (back to story)
(20) Tripura; tri= three pura= city, she is the one who looks over the three cities (waking, dreaming and deep sleep state). (back to story)
(21)Yoga Sutras 1.3*: Then the Seer abides in Itself, resting in its own True Nature, which is called Self-realization. (back to story)
(22)World -> Body -> Breath -> Mind -> Beyond (back to story)
(23)AUM, represents A = waking state, U = dreaming state, M = deep sleep state, and the silence after AUM is the fourth, called Turiya, which it in this story referred to as HOME. (back to story)
* Yoga Sutras; Interpretive Translation, by Swami Jnaneshvara Bharati (www.swami.com/yoga-sutras.htm)
| top |
“(A)Para Vidya Within Sri”
There is only little to know.
All there is to know…is knowing itself.
All there is to know…is the One who knows, The One who is hiding beyond all we know as mere knowledge.
All there is to know…is the Unity that flows within all mere knowledge disguised as diversity.
All there is to know…is the knowledge of Sri, the Vidya of Sri.
Without a beginning, without traveling Her beauty began to flow within three cities.
Without leaving Home She looks over Her appearing journey, reflected as the three cities.
Within Her Unity She started to dance not needing a reason or a desire, because She is all there is.
Within that moment beyond time and without a cause, the effect known as Her manifestation seemed suddenly born.
Within that moment without breaking up in duality, diversity appears within many layers.
Her Unity all of a sudden knows many concepts, forms and flows.
Within Her All Knowing perspective without loosing Her awareness, Avidya seems to be able to veil Her beauty.
Then knowing Her true nature seems rapidly forgotten, we are left behind with mere longing, and mere knowledge.
Mere knowledge is built within the appearing laws of the three cities,
for knowing Her you need to know the whole journey that started from Her Home.
Mere knowledge relies on time, space, and causation,
for knowing Sri you also need to merge into the point from where these three illusions arose.
Mere knowledge is made of sense perception,
for knowing Sri you also need to expand to the One who is able to witness not necessary using a mind.
Mere knowledge is contained within the colored samskaras,
for knowing Sri you need to let go of all that is labeled as ‘mine’ and individuation itself.
Mere knowledge is exchanged within the realms of waking, dreaming and deep sleep
for knowing Sri requires awareness over the dance between the three and what is beyond.
Mere knowledge is collected in the outside and stored within,
for knowing Sri you need to experience the flow from most subtlest to the grossest, and search for True knowledge within.
Mere knowledge contains objects, forms, and concepts and is saved as a possession,
for knowing Sri you need to surrender your gathered collection to be absorbed by the formless itself.
Mere knowledge is gained,
true knowledge reemerges from the forgotten, never lost, ever present, for knowing Her you need to go beyond mere knowledge.
The one longing for True knowledge will one day be introduced to the Vidya of Sri.
The one who does the practices will be lead to the Vidya of Sri.
The one who contemplates on Her nature, will be shown Her flow and dance within the three cities and from where She sees them all.
The one who expands with self-awareness will see their role within Her existence.
The one who meditates on Tripura will be absorbed by Her beauty to know Her Vidya, the highest Vidya of all.
The one who unravels Her secret knows that all Her cities and from where She witnesses them all, are one and the same.
The one who surrenders themselves into Her wonder, will be left in awe, will merge into her Vidya,
There will be nothing else left then Sri…ooh Srividya, this is the little there is to know.
(Watch the video on YouTube)
| top |
“You do, do, do, and do”
You make efforts, grow, and develop,
until that one delightful non-moment will make it all vanishes into effortless effort.
You learn, gain insights and discover,
so that in one nonexistent second you’ll understand it’s all about the process of unlearning.
You practice, practice, practice,
until that one unmanifested twinkle comes and you realize something is working through you, that nothing is yours…namah.
You go through suffering, anger and sadness,
so at one imagined day it can be left behind with laughter.
You let go, chop, and burn,
until at one joyous moment the Non-dual Reality takes over the dual perspective without loosing its delicate balance of its appearing existence.
You do, do, do, do, and exhaust yourself,
so in a non-instant it is realized that it is not you who is doing anything.
You walk and stumble, you fall, you get up to walk and walk,
until at one unexpected time the whole path merges into Oneness.
You pray and ask Her, the Mother Divine, to come, come, come, come,
so in very precious non-moment you are aware that She is you, She is all there is.
You expand, stretch, and expand,
until the one glorious unbounded instant makes it clear you are receding back Home.
You focus on, pay attention to, and follow the stream back to its source,
so in one nonexistent sparkle the effect will be you’ll find the beginningless beginning of appearing causation.
You move inward, discriminate, and set aside,
until in one imaged second you’ll merges back into the One whose is projecting this dance upon the mirror.
You do, do, do, do, do, do, and do
so in one desirable instant of non-doing you understand nothing needs to be done…All is One.
| top |
“Nothing is Mine”
With humble devotion,
let the body bow to the Divine
To let go of the thought that every footstep is mine
With humble devotion,
let the breath flow for the Divine
Remember in every breath “nothing is mine”
With humble devotion,
let the mind be an instrument for the Divine
So every thought sings Her name, again nothing is mine
With humble devotion,
let all of the movements, the changes, the waves of manifestation
be a reminder that Her silence, Her formlessness, timelessness, changelessness
is present in all Her creations
Although she didn’t create anything,
again nothing is Hers, everything just IS…pure Divine
| top |
“I see, I see, what you don’t see”
“I see, I see, what you don’t see” is an old fashion Dutch children game. Where one child would say “I see, I see, what you don’t see, and its is…green (it is always a color)”. Then the other child would start guessing, and naming things that he sees that are green. “Is it the grass?” …“Nope”…“Is it your t-shirt?”…“Nope”…“Is it the door of that house?”…“Yes!” And then they switch…it is a silly game that you can play always and anywhere, you just need two people and a surrounding!
Teacher and student playing the game “I see, I see, what you don’t see”
Teacher: “I see, I see, what you don’t see…and it is…everywhere?”
Student: “Is it the earth? All the galaxies together? Is it space the element itself? All atoms that are made of electrons, neutrons, and protons? Is it the whole of manifestation, known as gross, subtle and causal plane?”
Teacher: “No…there is still something where the gross, or subtle or causal is not, so it is not everywhere. It’s Brahman that is everywhere: it is the one Self in All that permeates All without moving, that manifest without changing, that emerges without dividing, that is All and One at the same time, therefore appearing everywhere in everything.”
Teacher: “I see, I see, what you don’t see…and it is…formless?”
Student: “Is it the sky, is it breath, is it prana? Is it formless appearance of light? Is it sounds resonating through the air? Is it a thought, or a memory, the mind?”
Teacher: “No…those are all objects and therefore still forms…it’s Brahman, that is the formless substratum in all appearing objects, it is the One beyond the mind, though not separate from the mind, thought different from the mind, as the object “mind” is a reflection of the formless Brahman from where all object emerges, the mind is nothing but Brahman. So are prana, the breath and the sky, that all flow from Brahman, present in the expression of the mind to assist the movement, to assist the opportunity to be alive, though the whole universe is but a dream of consciousness, never moving nor alive. It is the formless Brahman that takes on the shape of unlimited possibilities to play on the unbounded playground of Oneness…nor playing in itself, nor with itself, nor beyond itself.”
Teacher: “I see, I see, what you don’t see…and it is…changeless”
Student: “Is it…?…Is it…?…I give up, everything is always changing, there is nothing that doesn’t seems to change…the only thing that doesn’t seem to change is change itself, because the aspect of ever-changing never changes, but how can change be changeless?”
Teacher: “Yes, there is a changelessness in the ever-changing, it is Brahman, it doesn’t need to change, because it contains the whole. It does not need to change for it never needs to attain anything, it does not need to change for it is perfection without characteristics. The ever changing aspect of the changeless Brahman is one of the many contradiction that make the mystery of Brahman as clear as transparent water, yet as ungraspable as a cloud. The paradox of Brahman appearing as Duality, but being one without a second, therefore does not change at all is as baffling as imagining the whole of the universe being one thought, or just a dream, where time does not exist and space collapses into unlimited consciousness itself…but yet….both are descriptions of the same indescribable!”
Student: “You see, You see, what I don’t see…and it is…Brahman: the indescribable Source, the center of Consciousness that can’t be seen or tasted or touched, nor reasoned or thought of, nor understood with the mind, nor imaged.”
Student: “I don’t seem to see anything, yet when I open my eyes there is movement, there is time, there are forms, objects and changing shapes. There are ideas, and wishes. There are imaginations and thoughts. There appears to be loving, smiling, living and dying. There seems to be a past, a future, and a present being present in the Now of opportunities, playgrounds, changes. There seems to be logic, reasoning, experiences, occasion for learning and sharing, discovering, and exploring, but yet nothing seems to move, or alter, or exist. Please tell me, tell me, so I can know…how to experience the changeless, the formless that appears everywhere?”
Teacher: “See beyond seeing, listen beyond sounds, go beyond your thoughts and dive into the unknown aspect of the inner being. Discover the silence that lives in movement, by removing the clouds of ignorance that hide the sun of Knowing itself, by inviting the wind of discrimination to blow away the clouds. By letting go of the desire to see anything, to hear anything, the feel anything, to experience anything, to enjoy any movement, to hold on to anything, any thought, any memory, any identification. So all that is left is…being itself…and you see, you see, what the “I” can only see…All is Brahman!
| top |
“Invisible for the Eye”
Invisible for the eye shines in all a Light
Un-findable for our thinking is this Light
a moment where AUM resides.
Ungraspable in the outside world is this Light
the unconditional Love we all search for
Invisible for the colors is this Light the Source of all forms
Unthinkable for the mind is this Light
the stream from where all existence flows
Unbelievable for the senses is this Light
the unlimited experience of Happiness
From where does this Light emerge?
Invisible for this Light resides its source; the Darkness
Unknowable for the Light is this Darkness
the moment where True Silence lives
Unimaginable…this Darkness is the Home where real Liberation is self-existent
It is the unconditional Lap of Fearlessness of Mother Divine
Don’t try to find this Light, go beyond the Light
Merges back into the Darkness
To experience that All comes from One source, there is no second
To radiate this Darkness as a sparkling Light of ‘Inlightenment’
(Watch the video on YouTube)